What is a MIAM and do I have to attend one?

A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is a confidential one-to-one appointment with an accredited family mediator. Before making most applications to the family court in England and Wales, you are required by law to attend a MIAM first, unless a specific exemption applies to your situation. The MIAM is not mediation itself. It is an opportunity for you to understand your options, ask questions, and find out whether mediation or another form of non-court dispute resolution might work for you. Even if you go on to make a court application, attending a MIAM is a necessary first step.

What happens at a MIAM?

Your MIAM is a private, individual meeting with me. You do not attend with your ex-partner. We talk through your situation, the issues you are facing, and what you are hoping to resolve. I will explain what mediation involves, what other options exist, and whether I have any concerns about safety or suitability. At the end of the meeting, I will sign your MIAM certificate, which you need whether you are going to court or proceeding with mediation. The MIAM costs £135 and is available in person in Hitchin and Hertfordshire, or online via video call.

Are there exemptions to attending a MIAM?

Yes. There are circumstances in which you may be exempt from attending a MIAM, including where there is evidence of domestic abuse, where the matter is urgent, or where the other party cannot be located. Exemptions are specific and must be properly evidenced. If you think an exemption may apply to you, get in touch and we can talk it through before you do anything else.

What is family mediation?

Family mediation is a process in which a trained, impartial mediator helps separating couples or family members have constructive conversations about the issues they need to resolve. That might be arrangements for children, financial matters, or both. Mediation is not about taking sides or telling people what to do. It is about creating the conditions for a genuine, informed conversation, and helping both people reach an agreement that works for their family. I work with clients across Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and the surrounding area, as well as nationally via video call.

Is mediation confidential?

Yes. What is discussed in mediation is confidential and cannot generally be used in court proceedings. There are limited exceptions to this, for example where there are safeguarding concerns about a child or vulnerable adult. I will explain how confidentiality works at the MIAM so you know exactly where you stand.

Do both people have to want to do mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary process and works best when both parties are willing to engage. However, one person can come to a MIAM without the other having agreed to anything. I will then invite the other party to their own MIAM, and if they are willing, the joint process can begin. If the other party declines or does not respond, I will confirm this in writing so you can proceed with any court application you need to make.

How long does mediation take?

There is no fixed answer, because it depends on the complexity of your situation and how quickly both parties are able to move forward. Many clients resolve their issues in two to four joint sessions. More complex financial cases, or situations involving significant conflict, may take longer. What mediation will not do is keep you in an open-ended process. I will be straightforward with you about whether progress is being made and whether continuing is in your interests.

Can mediation help with financial matters as well as children?

Yes. Financial mediation covers the full range of financial issues arising from separation, including property, savings, pensions, debts, and ongoing financial support. Both parties are asked to provide full financial disclosure before financial mediation begins, so that any agreement reached is based on a complete and honest picture. A summary of what has been agreed can be drawn up in a document called a Memorandum of Understanding, which your solicitors can then use to prepare a consent order, making the agreement legally binding.

Does mediation produce a legally binding agreement

Mediated agreements are not automatically legally binding, but they can be made so. A Memorandum of Understanding records what has been agreed, and a solicitor can then apply to the court for a consent order based on that document. A consent order based on a mediated agreement is generally straightforward for a court to approve, provided the terms are fair and the process has been properly followed.

Can mediation help us agree arrangements for our children?

Yes. Child arrangements mediation helps parents work out where children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent, and how day-to-day decisions will be made. The focus throughout is on what is in the best interests of the children, rather than on what each parent wants. Research consistently shows that children do better when their parents can communicate and cooperate, even after separation. Mediation creates a structured space to start building that.

Can my child have a say in what is decided?

Yes, where appropriate. Child-inclusive mediation (CIM) is a process in which a child who is old enough and willing is given the opportunity to speak to the mediator separately, and for their views to be fed back into the mediation in a way that is safe and age-appropriate. Both parents must consent, and the child's participation is always voluntary. This is not about children making adult decisions. It is about making sure their voice is part of the conversation.

Do grandparents have legal rights to see their grandchildren?

In England and Wales, grandparents do not have an automatic legal right to contact with their grandchildren. However, the law recognises the importance of extended family relationships, and a grandparent can apply to the court for a child arrangements order if contact has been refused and other routes have been exhausted. Before reaching that point, mediation can be a productive way to open a conversation between grandparents and parents. It avoids adversarial proceedings and keeps the focus on the child's wellbeing. I work with extended family disputes across Hertfordshire and beyond.

What is a kinship carer and can mediation help?

A kinship carer is someone, usually a family member or close friend, who is raising a child because their parents are unable to do so. This might be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or an older sibling. Kinship arrangements can be informal or formalised through a special guardianship order or other legal route. Mediation can be helpful in kinship situations to clarify roles, agree contact arrangements with birth parents, and reduce conflict within the family. These are often emotionally complex situations, and having a neutral, skilled mediator can make a significant difference.

What is a Special Guardianship Order?

A Special Guardianship Order (SGO) is a court order that places a child with someone other than their parents, giving that person parental responsibility. It is designed to provide stability and permanence for children who cannot live with their birth parents but for whom adoption is not appropriate. SGOs are often sought by grandparents, other relatives, or long-term foster carers. If there are disputes about contact or the terms of a guardianship arrangement, mediation can sometimes help resolve these without the need for further court proceedings.

What other options are there besides mediation and court?

There are several forms of non-court dispute resolution available to separating couples and families. These include collaborative law, where both parties and their solicitors work together in a series of meetings; arbitration, where an independent arbitrator makes a binding decision; and early neutral evaluation, where a professional gives an objective view of how a court might approach your case. I can talk you through the full range of options at your MIAM, so that whatever route you choose, it is one that fits your situation.

How much does mediation cost?

A MIAM costs £135. Joint mediation sessions are £135 per person per hour. Mediation is almost always significantly less expensive than going to court, where costs in family proceedings can run to thousands of pounds and the process can take many months. Most families in Hitchin and Hertfordshire resolve their matters in two to four joint sessions. I can give you a clear sense of likely costs at your MIAM so you can plan accordingly.

Is legal aid available for mediation?

Yes. I am able to provide mediation through legal aid for clients who are financially eligible. If you think you may qualify, this is worth exploring at your MIAM. Legal aid covers the cost of mediation sessions for eligible clients, making the process accessible regardless of financial circumstances. Eligibility is assessed on the basis of income and capital, and I can talk you through whether you are likely to qualify and how to apply.

What is the government mediation voucher scheme?

The government's Family Mediation Voucher Scheme provides up to £500 towards the cost of your first joint mediation session. This is not means-tested, which means it is available to all eligible clients regardless of income. One voucher is available per family. The voucher applies to cases involving arrangements for children. Importantly, the voucher does not cover the MIAM itself, only the first joint session. I can access the scheme on your behalf, so you do not need to apply separately. It is a straightforward way to reduce the upfront cost of getting started.

Is mediation cheaper than going to court?

In almost every case, yes. Court proceedings in family law matters can run to thousands of pounds in legal fees and take months or even years to resolve. Mediation typically costs a fraction of that, and the agreement you reach is one you have both been part of making, rather than a decision handed down by a judge. Even where mediation does not resolve everything, it often narrows the issues significantly, which reduces the cost and complexity of any subsequent court process.

Can we do mediation online?

Yes. I offer mediation via video call as well as in person. Online mediation works well for many clients, particularly where distance, work commitments, or personal circumstances make attending in person difficult. Sessions are conducted via a secure video platform, and everything discussed remains confidential. I am based in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and see clients in person locally, as well as online across England and Wales.

What is shuttle mediation?

Shuttle mediation is a way of mediating where both parties do not sit in the same room. Instead, I move between you, carrying proposals and information back and forth, while you each remain in separate spaces. This can be done in person, with each party in a different room, or online via separate video calls. Shuttle mediation is particularly useful where being in the same room feels uncomfortable or unsafe, where there has been a difficult history between the parties, or where one or both people feel they would find it hard to communicate constructively face to face. It takes a little longer than joint sessions but can make the process feel much more manageable.

Can I still use mediation if there has been domestic abuse?

This is one of the most important questions to explore carefully. Mediation is not suitable in every situation where there has been domestic abuse, and I take safeguarding very seriously. Safety and emotional readiness are assessed throughout the process, beginning at the MIAM. Where there has been abuse, shuttle mediation or online mediation may offer a safer way to engage with the process, depending on the nature and severity of what has happened. I will never pressure anyone to proceed where it is not safe or appropriate to do so. If you have concerns, please mention them when you get in touch, even before your MIAM.

How long does the whole process take?

From your first MIAM to a completed agreement, many clients working on straightforward child arrangements matters are done within six to eight weeks. Financial cases or more complex situations may take longer. What mediation will not do is drag on indefinitely: the process is structured, focused, and designed to move at a pace that works for both parties. In comparison, court proceedings in Hertfordshire and across England and Wales currently take many months, sometimes well over a year. Mediation keeps the timeline in your hands rather than a court's.

What if we cannot reach an agreement?

Mediation does not always result in full agreement, and that is not a failure. Even where some issues remain unresolved, mediation often narrows the gap significantly and helps both parties understand each other's position more clearly. If mediation does not produce an agreement, you are free to pursue other routes, including making a court application. Mediation does not close off any options. What is said in mediation remains confidential and cannot generally be used against you in court.

Can mediation help where one parent is being kept from their children?

This is a painful and complex situation, and one that mediation can sometimes help with, though not in every case. Where one parent feels they are being deliberately excluded from their child's life, and where the other parent is willing to engage, mediation can provide a structured space to address the underlying concerns and agree a way forward. I approach these situations with care and without taking sides. The focus is always on the child's best interests and on creating arrangements that are sustainable for the whole family. Where there are serious concerns about a child's welfare or where one party is unwilling to engage honestly, mediation may not be suitable. I will always be straightforward with you about whether the process is likely to help.

Is Rachel Evenden fully accredited?

Yes. I hold full accreditation with the Family Mediation Council (FMC), the professional standards body for family mediators in England and Wales. FMC accreditation means I have met rigorous standards of training, practice, and ongoing professional development, and am subject to regular supervision and reaccreditation. I am also accredited by MiKK e.V. (the International Mediation Centre for Family Conflict and Child Abduction, based in Berlin) for cross-border family mediation, including cases involving international child abduction. This is a specialist area of practice requiring additional training and expertise, and relatively few mediators in the UK hold this qualification.

How do I book a MIAM and get the process started?

Getting started is straightforward. You can contact me directly via the website to request a MIAM. You do not need your ex-partner to agree to anything at this stage: the MIAM is your own individual appointment. I serve clients in Hitchin, across Hertfordshire, and nationally via video call. Once your MIAM is booked, I will send you some brief information in advance so you know what to expect. If you have any questions before you book, you are welcome to get in touch and I will do my best to answer them.

Family Mediation FAQs

Below are answers to the questions I'm most often asked about family mediation in Hitchin, Hertfordshire and online across England and Wales - covering the MIAM, costs, arrangements for children, financial matters, legal aid and more. If your question isn't answered here, please get in touch and I'll be happy to help.

The MIAM and the Court Process

What is a MIAM and do I have to attend one?
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is a confidential one-to-one appointment with an accredited family mediator. Before making most applications to the family court in England and Wales, you are required by law to attend a MIAM first, unless a specific exemption applies to your situation.
The MIAM is not mediation itself. It is an opportunity for you to understand your options, ask questions, and find out whether mediation or another form of non-court dispute resolution might work for you. Even if you go on to make a court application, attending a MIAM is a necessary first step.
What happens at a MIAM?
Your MIAM is a private, individual meeting with me. You do not attend with your ex-partner. We talk through your situation, the issues you are facing, and what you are hoping to resolve. I will explain what mediation involves, what other options exist, and whether I have any concerns about safety or suitability.
At the end of the meeting, I will sign your MIAM certificate, which you need whether you are going to court or proceeding with mediation. The MIAM costs £135 and is available in person in Hitchin and Hertfordshire, or online via video call.
Are there exemptions to attending a MIAM?
Yes. There are circumstances in which you may be exempt from attending a MIAM, including where there is evidence of domestic abuse, where the matter is urgent, or where the other party cannot be located. Exemptions are specific and must be properly evidenced. If you think an exemption may apply to you, get in touch and we can talk it through before you do anything else.

Mediation and How It Works

What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a process in which a trained, impartial mediator helps separating couples or family members have constructive conversations about the issues they need to resolve. That might be arrangements for children, financial matters, or both.
Mediation is not about taking sides or telling people what to do. It is about creating the conditions for a genuine, informed conversation, and helping both people reach an agreement that works for their family. I work with clients across Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and the surrounding area, as well as nationally via video call.
Is mediation confidential?
Yes. What is discussed in mediation is confidential and cannot generally be used in court proceedings. There are limited exceptions to this, for example where there are safeguarding concerns about a child or vulnerable adult. I will explain how confidentiality works at the MIAM so you know exactly where you stand.
Do both people have to want to do mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary process and works best when both parties are willing to engage. However, one person can come to a MIAM without the other having agreed to anything. I will then invite the other party to their own MIAM, and if they are willing, the joint process can begin.
If the other party declines or does not respond, I will confirm this in writing so you can proceed with any court application you need to make.
How long does mediation take?
There is no fixed answer, because it depends on the complexity of your situation and how quickly both parties are able to move forward. Many clients resolve their issues in two to four joint sessions. More complex financial cases, or situations involving significant conflict, may take longer.
What mediation will not do is keep you in an open-ended process. I will be straightforward with you about whether progress is being made and whether continuing is in your interests.

Financial Mediation

Can mediation help with financial matters as well as children?
Yes. Financial mediation covers the full range of financial issues arising from separation, including property, savings, pensions, debts, and ongoing financial support. Both parties are asked to provide full financial disclosure before financial mediation begins, so that any agreement reached is based on a complete and honest picture.
A summary of what has been agreed can be drawn up in a document called a Memorandum of Understanding, which your solicitors can then use to prepare a consent order, making the agreement legally binding.
Does mediation produce a legally binding agreement?
Mediated agreements are not automatically legally binding, but they can be made so. A Memorandum of Understanding records what has been agreed, and a solicitor can then apply to the court for a consent order based on that document. A consent order based on a mediated agreement is generally straightforward for a court to approve, provided the terms are fair and the process has been properly followed.

Children and Parenting Arrangements

Can mediation help us agree arrangements for our children?
Yes. Child arrangements mediation helps parents work out where children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent, and how day-to-day decisions will be made. The focus throughout is on what is in the best interests of the children, rather than on what each parent wants.
Research consistently shows that children do better when their parents can communicate and cooperate, even after separation. Mediation creates a structured space to start building that.
Can my child have a say in what is decided?
Yes, where appropriate. Child-inclusive mediation (CIM) is a process in which a child who is old enough and willing is given the opportunity to speak to the mediator separately, and for their views to be fed back into the mediation in a way that is safe and age-appropriate. Both parents must consent, and the child’s participation is always voluntary.
This is not about children making adult decisions. It is about making sure their voice is part of the conversation.

Grandparents, Kinship Carers and Special Guardiansh

Do grandparents have legal rights to see their grandchildren?
In England and Wales, grandparents do not have an automatic legal right to contact with their grandchildren. However, the law recognises the importance of extended family relationships, and a grandparent can apply to the court for a child arrangements order if contact has been refused and other routes have been exhausted.
Before reaching that point, mediation can be a productive way to open a conversation between grandparents and parents. It avoids adversarial proceedings and keeps the focus on the child’s wellbeing. I work with extended family disputes across Hertfordshire and beyond.
What is a kinship carer and can mediation help?
A kinship carer is someone, usually a family member or close friend, who is raising a child because their parents are unable to do so. This might be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, or an older sibling. Kinship arrangements can be informal or formalised through a special guardianship order or other legal route.
Mediation can be helpful in kinship situations to clarify roles, agree contact arrangements with birth parents, and reduce conflict within the family. These are often emotionally complex situations, and having a neutral, skilled mediator can make a significant difference.
What is a Special Guardianship Order?
A Special Guardianship Order (SGO) is a court order that places a child with someone other than their parents, giving that person parental responsibility. It is designed to provide stability and permanence for children who cannot live with their birth parents but for whom adoption is not appropriate.
SGOs are often sought by grandparents, other relatives, or long-term foster carers. If there are disputes about contact or the terms of a guardianship arrangement, mediation can sometimes help resolve these without the need for further court proceedings.

Other Forms of Non-Court Dispute Resolution

What other options are there besides mediation and court?
There are several forms of non-court dispute resolution available to separating couples and families. These include collaborative law, where both parties and their solicitors work together in a series of meetings; arbitration, where an independent arbitrator makes a binding decision; and early neutral evaluation, where a professional gives an objective view of how a court might approach your case.
I can talk you through the full range of options at your MIAM, so that whatever route you choose, it is one that fits your situation.

Cost, Legal Aid and Funding

How much does mediation cost?
A MIAM costs £135. Joint mediation sessions are £135 per person per hour. Mediation is almost always significantly less expensive than going to court, where costs in family proceedings can run to thousands of pounds and the process can take many months.
Most families in Hitchin and Hertfordshire resolve their matters in two to four joint sessions. I can give you a clear sense of likely costs at your MIAM so you can plan accordingly.
Is legal aid available for mediation?
Yes. I am able to provide mediation through legal aid for clients who are financially eligible. If you think you may qualify, this is worth exploring at your MIAM. Legal aid covers the cost of mediation sessions for eligible clients, making the process accessible regardless of financial circumstances. Eligibility is assessed on the basis of income and capital, and I can talk you through whether you are likely to qualify and how to apply.
What is the government mediation voucher scheme?
The government’s Family Mediation Voucher Scheme provides up to £500 towards the cost of your first joint mediation session. This is not means-tested, which means it is available to all eligible clients regardless of income. One voucher is available per family.
The voucher applies to cases involving arrangements for children. Importantly, the voucher does not cover the MIAM itself, only the first joint session. I can access the scheme on your behalf, so you do not need to apply separately. It is a straightforward way to reduce the upfront cost of getting started.
Is mediation cheaper than going to court?
In almost every case, yes. Court proceedings in family law matters can run to thousands of pounds in legal fees and take months or even years to resolve. Mediation typically costs a fraction of that, and the agreement you reach is one you have both been part of making, rather than a decision handed down by a judge.
Even where mediation does not resolve everything, it often narrows the issues significantly, which reduces the cost and complexity of any subsequent court process.

Online and Shuttle Mediation

Can we do mediation online?
Yes. I offer mediation via video call as well as in person. Online mediation works well for many clients, particularly where distance, work commitments, or personal circumstances make attending in person difficult. Sessions are conducted via a secure video platform, and everything discussed remains confidential.
I am based in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and see clients in person locally, as well as online across England and Wales.
What is shuttle mediation?
Shuttle mediation is a way of mediating where both parties do not sit in the same room. Instead, I move between you, carrying proposals and information back and forth, while you each remain in separate spaces. This can be done in person, with each party in a different room, or online via separate video calls.
Shuttle mediation is particularly useful where being in the same room feels uncomfortable or unsafe, where there has been a difficult history between the parties, or where one or both people feel they would find it hard to communicate constructively face to face. It takes a little longer than joint sessions but can make the process feel much more manageable.

Domestic Abuse and Safety

Can I still use mediation if there has been domestic abuse?
This is one of the most important questions to explore carefully. Mediation is not suitable in every situation where there has been domestic abuse, and I take safeguarding very seriously. Safety and emotional readiness are assessed throughout the process, beginning at the MIAM.
Where there has been abuse, shuttle mediation or online mediation may offer a safer way to engage with the process, depending on the nature and severity of what has happened. I will never pressure anyone to proceed where it is not safe or appropriate to do so. If you have concerns, please mention them when you get in touch, even before your MIAM.

Timescales and What to Expect

How long does the whole process take?
From your first MIAM to a completed agreement, many clients working on straightforward child arrangements matters are done within six to eight weeks. Financial cases or more complex situations may take longer. What mediation will not do is drag on indefinitely: the process is structured, focused, and designed to move at a pace that works for both parties.
In comparison, court proceedings in Hertfordshire and across England and Wales currently take many months, sometimes well over a year. Mediation keeps the timeline in your hands rather than a court’s.
What if we cannot reach an agreement?
Mediation does not always result in full agreement, and that is not a failure. Even where some issues remain unresolved, mediation often narrows the gap significantly and helps both parties understand each other’s position more clearly.
If mediation does not produce an agreement, you are free to pursue other routes, including making a court application. Mediation does not close off any options. What is said in mediation remains confidential and cannot generally be used against you in court.

Parental Alienation

Can mediation help where one parent is being kept from their children?
This is a painful and complex situation, and one that mediation can sometimes help with, though not in every case. Where one parent feels they are being deliberately excluded from their child’s life, and where the other parent is willing to engage, mediation can provide a structured space to address the underlying concerns and agree a way forward.
I approach these situations with care and without taking sides. The focus is always on the child’s best interests and on creating arrangements that are sustainable for the whole family. Where there are serious concerns about a child’s welfare or where one party is unwilling to engage honestly, mediation may not be suitable. I will always be straightforward with you about whether the process is likely to help.

Accreditation and Qualifications

Is Rachel Evenden fully accredited?
Yes. I hold full accreditation with the Family Mediation Council (FMC), the professional standards body for family mediators in England and Wales. FMC accreditation means I have met rigorous standards of training, practice, and ongoing professional development, and am subject to regular supervision and reaccreditation.
I am also accredited by MiKK e.V. (the International Mediation Centre for Family Conflict and Child Abduction, based in Berlin) for cross-border family mediation, including cases involving international child abduction. This is a specialist area of practice requiring additional training and expertise, and relatively few mediators in the UK hold this qualification.

Getting Started

How do I book a MIAM and get the process started?
Getting started is straightforward. You can contact me directly via the website to request a MIAM. You do not need your ex-partner to agree to anything at this stage: the MIAM is your own individual appointment.
I serve clients in Hitchin, across Hertfordshire, and nationally via video call. Once your MIAM is booked, I will send you some brief information in advance so you know what to expect. If you have any questions before you book, you are welcome to get in touch and I will do my best to answer them.